


Just a Water

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Force Suppressant, Humor, M/M, do it for the mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux and Kylo Ren start off on an undercover mission as boyfriends. Then they accidentally get feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Water

**“Just a water.”**

Kylo peered over the top of his paper (how antique) menu. Hux was still carefully trained on his own menu.

“I suppose I’ll just have a glass of water, as well,” Hux said in his strangely clipped tone. He’d been using it during their entire excursion. Kylo didn’t mind, much, but he was fairly sure it was blowing their cover.

The waiter, a pretty young humanoid, nodded and dished out the obligatory smile. “You two gentlemen enjoy your evening. I’ll come by to take your main orders in a moment. Excuse me.” They left simply but quickly.

Hux glanced up from the menu then, sighing briefly. His shoulders were still tense, Kylo noted. “Ren -”

He tsk’d, smirked when Hux scowled. “Codenames, darling.”

“ _Lester_. Honey. Forgive me, I entreat you,” Hux ground out, grimacing through his clenched façade of a smile. Sarcasm dripped from his words like honey.

Kylo flashed him a relaxed grin. “Of course, my darling _Tiber_.”

“Damn. I hate that name,” Hux hissed behind his menu.

“Lester’s not much better.” Kylo plopped his head in his hands. “So -”

“Get your filthy elbows off the table,” Hux snapped. He hardly even glanced up.

Kylo removed himself grudgingly. “So, you were saying -”

“Your waters,” the waiter interrupted, placing two glasses of water suddenly on the table. The ice sloshed along the sides, spilling over a little.

Kylo frowned, but did not comment. He took a swig of the drink, relishing its coolness.

“I’m ready to order,” Hux told the waiter.

Wow, he was already bored. Hux was going to take a while. As he rambled on about the quality of the food, Kylo took stock of his surroundings.

They were at some fancy restaurant in a Coruscant high-rise. Naturally, the bar was glowing with strange and foreign drinks - which Hux had forbidden him from touching. Kylo was strong enough to resist, even if one of them was inadvertently named for his grandfather.

The windows were floor-to-ceiling. Waiters of various alien species waited on tables, all of whose occupants were of a startling variety.

Kylo was beginning to get overwhelmed, and was extremely glad that he and Hux had received their waters. It gave him something else to focus on, rather than the fuzz about his mind that was starting to cloud the Force. Too many people. Too much distraction.

Stormtroopers were no problem, what with their blank minds. This hive of scum and villainy, on the other hand… always thinking, always plotting. Kylo had no idea who to look for. Someone here was a Resistance sniper, prepared to receive mission details. They had to find them, deal with them quietly, and get out.

Which is why they were undercover as boyfriends. Their distraction, if need be, would be a proposal. It worked quite nicely, according to a smug Phasma.

It sucked.

“And for you, sir?”

Kylo Ren looked up, gears rapidly turning in his brain. What to order what to order - “Whatever’s cheapest.”

The waiter stared at him a while before taking up their menus and slowly walking away. Hux inhaled deeply before grimace-smiling at him again. “You’re such an embarrassment, Lester. Haha!”

His laugh was so fake that Kylo winced. “Haha,” he echoed uncertainly.

Hux leaned forward slightly. “What is wrong with you?” he hissed, the green lamp flickering by his face. “You know what, don’t answer that. Please tell me you’ve at least found the sniper.”

Um. “No.”

“How -”

“It’s too noisy. I can’t focus.”

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lester, darling, light of my life - _you’ve been drugged_.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, you have. Your eyes are cloudy. It’s a mild opioid, Ren. You’ve ingested an opioid.”

Kylo blinked. “Did you…drink the water?”

“Of course not!” Hux whispered harshly.

“Oh,” Kylo said. “This is bad.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

“They’re expecting us,” Kylo said.

“Congratulations, Lester! Congratulations!” Hux inhaled deeply once more, his eyebrows pinched together in anger.

Wow, was he terrible at undercover.

Kylo picked up his water, swirling it around gently. “You’re terrible at -”

“Kiss me,” Hux said suddenly.

“Excuse me?” Kylo was confused, but even he knew that that was not a normal thing to say.

Hux grabbed his face all of a sudden a pressed their mouths together in a swift and harsh movement, motionless there for a few second before letting go.

“That wasn’t even a good kiss,” Kylo said, wiping his lips with his hand. “You didn’t do anything.”

Hux did the creepy fake laugh again, dabbing at his own reddened mouth with a napkin. “Darling, PDA makes people uncomfortable.”

Oh. “Who was, er, looking?”

“The man in front of the Gungan sculpture. He was the first to quickly turn away. He was watching us beforehand. Also, at least now we know he hasn’t bugged the table, to listen in on us.”

“What?” Kylo’s mind hadn’t quite caught up.

Hux kicked his leg under the table, annoyed. It hurt. “You’ve been breaking character all night.”

Had he? “Fine, but so have you!”

“You’re such a child, _honey_. Grow up.”

“I will… I will…” Uh. “…take revenge for that, one day. Sweetie,” Kylo added as an afterthought.

Hux rolled his eyes, and straightened his back. “Fine. On my count, we stand together, and exit the restaurant -” His eyes widened suddenly, and he dove into the bag he’d brought with him. “Nevermind. Change of plans.”

Kylo glanced back at the table by the Gungan sculpture, and started. “He’s gone!”

“Bathroom,” Hux confirmed shortly. “Now, on my count -”

But Kylo had already stood up, sneaking over to the extraordinarily fancy bathroom the restaurant supplied. Hux scrambled up after him, nearly tripping over the chair leg. He turned pink, but ignore the curious looks they were receiving.

(“Probably newlyweds,” an old Twi’lek lady whispered to the woman next to her, the two nodding in somber unison.

“Shut it,” Hux told them, but in his head. He wasn’t stupid enough to start a bar fight.)

Kylo grabbed his elbow and dragged him into the dimly lit hallway. They were pressed chest-to-chest, which Kylo knew would make their undercoverness more convincing.

Curiously, Hux’s breath hitched. Kylo figured he maybe had asthma or something.

“In ten seconds, we’ll pass through the bathroom door and take the Resistance sniper by surprise. Quick and efficient, we’ll knock him out and take him back to the _Finalizer_ for interrogation,” Hux said quickly, voice slightly breathy.

“What if there’s someone else in there?” Kylo asked, his grip on Hux’s elbow oddly tight. His shirt (black, of course) was cut from nice cloth; it was very soft. Kylo didn’t want to let go.

“I have your lightsaber in my bag,” Hux informed him, swallowing a lump in his throat. They were very close, and Hux seemed very nervous. “I trust you’ll take care of them.”

Kylo nodded, something thick also in his throat.

 _This is all fake_ , he reminded himself.

Hux coughed lightly. “Now. Three, two, one -”

The two whirled around, something cold suddenly between them as they charged at the smooth door, slamming it open and - though Kylo’s legs were suddenly weak, perhaps not from the drug - Hux opened fire with a small and light blaster.

 _He looks beautiful like that_ , Kylo realized. _Like always._

He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Still taking prompts! Thanks, anon!


End file.
